First on the list is a gorgeous marine biologist named Monica SomethingOrOther. With all the puzzle pieces falling into place, Sharpe decides to dig up a couple of old buddies to help him capture the beast. Sure enough, just like clockwork, a call comes in over the police radio reporting the recent ingestion of 2 water plant workers at the ‘hands’ of a giant snake. Although the size of the hole is in NO WAY big enough to let the snake sneak through, I guess we’re to assume that’s just what it did, so, meh, let’s just go with it.
Gosh, I wonder where that came from…Īh, yes, there’s also a pair of damaged steel doors which lead down into a labyrinth of tunnels towards the local water treatment plant. Sharpe, the steely professional, dismisses the irritating news hound and notes a gigantic snake scale laying in the wreckage. Local reporter, Kent Humphreys, from, er, "Action News 15" is on scene, pumping local spOOk, Agent Sharpe, for information. Why some people are wearing HazMat suits while others stroll around in their Dockers is not really clear. Meanwhile, "24 Miles Outside Philadelphia", the cops are poking around the scene of the snake’s escape. It’s now revealed that the reason Broddick bought the snake in the first place was so that he could charge a bunch of rich hunters a gazillion bucks each to hunt the damned thing. (He still doesn’t know that his prize reptile has escaped.) Oh, and kudos to the director for a gratuitous bathing/soaping scene onboard the plane, complete with slow-motion squirting of gel-soap onto onto a sponge that looks like the ones I wash my car with.Īnyway, Broddick eventually receives the bad news that his snake has gotten out of its cage (so to speak). The next day, Broddick and Eve board his personal Jumbo 747 and fly to New Jersey so he can take possession of his giant snake. I’m hope you’re not too shocked when I tell you that the SNAKE GETS OUT AND EATS EVERYBODY! I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING! Anyway, all the dudes hired to deliver the snake are eaten, or torn apart, or something, and the snake escapes into the wilderness. Why? Oh, why, can’t anybody show any competence in these movies? Needless to say, the plan to calm the beast requires fully opening the doors to the snake’s container so that another dose of tranquilizers can be administered. Meanwhile, back in,, Pennsylvania, the snake wakes up and begins thrashing around in its container. (You can tell Broddick’s a big shot because he smokes a big stogie and he has front row seats in the VIP section, helpfully indicated by the paper "Reserved" signs scotch-taped (!) to the bottom of chairs behind him.
#BOA VS PYTHON FILM PROFESSIONAL#
Open at an airstrip somewhere in Bulgaria, oh, I mean Pennsylvania, where some soon-to-be snake snacks struggle to secure the doors of a large tractor trailing carrying, hmmmm, I wonder what.ĭramatically cut to a professional wrestling match (the combatants are named "Boa" and "Python", how very, very ironic), where local Big Shot, Broddick, and his main squeeze, Eve, enjoy the show while awaiting word from the airstrip regarding the delivery of his prized snake. So don’t, like, expect anything that exciting to happen.
I was excited to watch this Bulgarian quickie-production when I first saw the DVD cover proudly displaying 2 giant snakes locked in mortal combat while Apache helicopters blast away at them. Not too much to discuss here, so this review is going to be a bit shorter than usual.
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